Life is not all it's cracked up to be
by GAgal05
Summary: Hermione has trouble adjusting to life after Hogwarts, but she's not the only one. This is a Hermione/Draco story with snippets from Ron, Ginny and Harry. Rated M for some smut to come later. **I am reworking and now writing this story under my other username: byaboo. I am also doing some reworking of the story to help make it easier to read and for better flow.**
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The war was over and had been for 8 years, Voldemort was dead and Harry was happily living his life. Hermione sighed as she read his latest letter. He was engaged to Ginny Weasly. She knew that she would soon be hearing from Ron to say the same thing. Ginny had already shown up to tell her the good news even before the owl got there with Harry's letter. She tried to be happy for them, but she has had the hardest time coping with how her life has changed. Yes she and Ron had dated, even going as far as talking about getting engaged, but when it came time they realized that they were just too different for each other and it wouldn't have worked. Hermione then made the hardest choice she ever had and that was to leave the wizarding world behind and live solely in the muggle world. Thankfully having muggle parents and friends made the transition slightly easier but what surprised Hermione the most was that she didn't miss the magic at all. All the time she had spent in Hogwarts and learning and fighting for their future, she thought that it would have been more difficult for her to leave it all behind. Her wand was stored in a never used guest room closet in the original box it came in. The last spell she ever did was to erase her parents' memories of her time at Hogwarts; as far as they and anyone else were concerned Hermione just went to the local private school, making sure to create the records necessary for her to be able to attend college. She graduated college with a Masters in Psychology and was currently working as a professor in her alma mater.

Hermione lived in a modest two bedroom house just outside of London. She looked out her window at the rainy day and felt relaxed. She has always loved the rain. There was a sudden knock on her door and for a second her heart froze.

"Please don't be him, please" she muttered on her way to the door. Looking through the peep hole she smiled, it was her mom with a basket.

"Mum, what are you doing here?" She could feel her mother looking her up and down as she stepped aside to let her in.

"Oh no real reason dear I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd bring lunch for us." Her mom made no question about having Hermione eat. Before she could even respond her mother was putting the plate with half a sandwich in her hands. Hermione sat at the kitchen table and tore a small piece of the sandwich off and with great effort chewed and swallowed it. It wasn't that the sandwich was bad, it was her favorite actually, but Hermione just never seemed to have an appetite anymore. Her mom sat a bowl of vegetable soup next to her with a spoon and sat down across from Hermione. Apparently her mother just wasn't going to let this go any longer. With great effort Hermione ate her meal, which just sat in her stomach like lead.

"Hermione, your father and I are really worried about you. Please tell me what's wrong; I can see it on your face every time you think no one is looking." What could Hermione say that wouldn't give away her past? She just looked at her mother and smiled a small smile and tried to convey happiness.

"Mum, for the thousandth time I am fine. I know you and Dad are concerned about me but you needn't be." Her mother looked at her once more before gathering the dirty dishes and putting the remaining food in the refrigerator, noting that there was almost nothing but half and half and an apple that was well beyond its ripeness. Her mom knew that the best she could do was give her daughter time and hope that she would tell her what is wrong soon.

Once her mom had left Hermione went and laid down in her bed and let the tears come. Why shouldn't she be sad, Hermione thought bitterly, she fought in a war and watched people dying around her. Fred, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, Snape and untold others who weren't even old enough to drive were dead. From sheer exhaustion she fell into a fitful sleep.

It was a little before sunrise when Draco woke up. His mind was already going, even before he was fully awake. He heard a muffled sigh come from next to him and it took him a second to remember he had brought someone home with him the night before. For the life of him he could not remember what she looked like. He quietly got out of bed and left the room. He wanted to avoid as awkard a moment as he could. He walked down the stone staircase to the kitchen. His parents had long since been taken to Azkaban for their crimes and Draco had inherited their mansion. Most of it stood unused and collecting dust. He had long ago freed the house elves seeing as there was no need to keep all of them on for just one person.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: I own nothing except my ideas. Thank you all for reading the first chapter. I wanted to flesh out Hermione's family a little more in this story than was ever done in the books. Please forgive the few liberties I have taken with them. I do not own the books and therefore can't remember if there was ever mention of what they do or their names. Here is Chapter 2. _

**Chapter 2**

He heard the girl leaving out the front door and Draco let his breath go, odd that he didn't realize he'd been holding it. He knew he needed to stop bringing random girls home to ease his loneliness. In his cavernous kitchen with his hands around a mug of coffee Draco's brain wandered to her. The one that got away, well she was never his to begin with. How could it be that someone so his opposite would be the one that he desired most of all? Draco always assumed it was because she always stood for what was right and good in the world and he was forced to stand for the opposite. It's not like you can say no to the Dark Lord when he tells you to do his bidding. The rest of it all stemmed from him not wanting to disappoint a father that rarely showed any emotion above annoyance and anger. His mother was just a stony towards him. When he got his acceptance letter to Hogwarts his parents barely acknowledged it. He has since realized that they just expected him to get in.

Even now he can remember the heart stopping moment he saw the tangled nest of hair. It was on the train the first year. He was all a bundle of nerves, anxious about what will happen and excited to be away from his family. He heard her before he saw her, asking about a frog. He leaned over and saw her slide into another coach. She never made it down to where he was sitting; he had hoped she would so he could try to talk to her. It always seemed to him that Ron and Harry always took her for granted. Draco was so lost in his thoughts that he was in his car driving to work before coming realizing what he was doing, thankfully he was dressed and neat looking. He was running a few minutes late and was at a stop light when he saw that same nest of brown hair, though tamed through the years, walking across the cross walk. His heart stopped, and he was startled when the car behind him honked for him to go.

Absentmindedly Hermione got on the elevator and pushed the button for her floor.

"Hold up the lift." She pressed the door open button and contemplated the voice. It sounded familiar but not at the same time. It wasn't until she saw the white blonde hair that she recognized the voice. "Thank you. Did you press for your floor yet?" Draco was looking at some paperwork and didn't notice who had held the lift for him. He heard a tiny gasp and figured it had to do with the dark mark that was still slightly visible on his arm. He knew he should hide it but since he didn't work with witches or wizards anymore saw no point in it. He looked up and that is when he noticed who was on the lift with him. His heart pounded and his ears were ringing.

Hermione benignly smiled at Draco and nodded. He had turned an adorable shade of pink. Wait did she just think his blushing was adorable? Now she was also blushing and about to claw her way out of the elevator.

"Hello Draco. It has been a while since I've seen you. How are you doing these days?" It took him a minute for his mouth to start working.

"Things are going well Hermione. How about you? How are Ron and his family doing, and Harry him as well?"

"They are doing well as am I, thank you." Before she could continue talking her floor arrived. She looked once more at him and walked away from the doors. It was a good five minutes later before Draco could focus on what he was doing well enough to not just sit and stare at his computer. He wondered why she was there in this building. It is not a common wizard place.

"Hello could you please let Mr. Granger know that his daughter is here to see him?" The secretary nodded and pushed a button and spoke into her headset.

"Go right on in ma'am." With a nod and a weary smile Hermione walked into her father's office. Compared to her mom; Hermione's father always had a way of seeing right through her. He could tell in one brief look that there was something eating at his daughter but he knew his daughter well enough to realize that she would tell them in her own time what was troubling her.

"Let me just grab my coat and keys and we will be on our way to lunch. How are you students doing?" Hermione gave a half shrug as she waited for him to find his keys only to remember that they were in his pocket the whole time. All throughout lunch and at her house that evening Hermione's thoughts kept going back to Draco and what he was doing in a law office. She just could not see him working with mortals all day every day. She always thought that he would end up doing whatever her father had done, at least did before going to Azkaban prison. Hell she didn't even know what Lucius did.

Draco sat in the ember lit living room sipping on some firewhisky. He thought he had gotten over her but when he saw her in the lift it was almost like a sign. Those eight years felt like they hadn't passed yet. He was still that awkward boy, not quite a little kid but not a man just yet. He noticed that she didn't have a wedding ring on. He was sure that Weasly had gotten her because last he saw them they were all over each other. With that memory Draco had to swallow around a lump that was forming in his throat. He wasn't quite sure when at Hogwarts he had fallen for her, sometime before the war broke out, but one day during their flex schedule he had seen her sitting beneath a tree reading and his heart skipped a beat. Her hair was gently blowing in the wind and the sun was just starting to set and she practically glowed. He had always wondered if things had been different whether she would have ever looked at him the way he did her. If she were in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor, would her same alliance with Potter and Weasly stand or would she have banded together with him and his group.

"I cannot believe you are standing there telling me that Ron." Her voice was full of annoyance. Not only did he show up unannounced he just apparated in front of her door. He knew she lived with muggles and that it was unacceptable.

"I don't understand why you would just abandon a part of yourself. We miss you, Hermione, I miss you please come back." Ron's voice, usually having an edge of humor in it was lacking that which made Hermione raise her head. He had tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Hermione, I….look I know the miscarriage hurt you a lot but we can still be together. We are stronger that way. I want to marry you, I want us back."

"Ron, it wasn't just the miscarriage that made me decide this. Things were….are easier this way. This is what I know, this world is what I lived prior to Hogwarts. That whole time was us trying to stay alive, even our first year with the sorcerer's stone. That is not a life I want to live anymore. Please go." She didn't wait to see him leave; walking into her bedroom she pushed the door to and waited for the telltale pop of him disapparating. Once Ron was gone Hermione decided she needed to go out and have a drink to try and ease the ache in her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Thank you to all of you who have added my story to your lists. I am glad that you are enjoying it. I am hoping to get into a better writing zone, writing more than a thousand words per chapter. This one will be a long one for everyone. Please feel free to read and review, this is my first story I've ever written so feedback would be greatly received. Also, I own nothing but the thoughts in my head. Onto Chapter 3._

**Chapter 3**

Draco threw his near full glass of firewhisky onto the embers watching them flare up. He hadn't had a decent meal in what seemed like forever. He grabbed his jacket and decided to take in the town where he works. He wanted to see what all his coworkers were talking about when they talked about this restaurant having the best burgers. He had overheard one of his coworkers raving about it that afternoon. Once he got to the place he almost didn't enter. It was a dive. People had written all over the walls and there were more people at the bar than at the tables. He took a seat in a booth near the bar to do his favorite thing and people watch. Hell that's how he had gotten his job. It came as quite a surprise to him that he had the ability to tell who was a witch or wizard and who was a muggle with relative ease. Draco's brain wandered back to that night four months ago.

It was early; the sun must have just cleared the tree line and was starting to come into his suite window, when his phone rang. Groggily Draco sat up and grabbed it and almost didn't answer it since the number was unknown. He had half hoped that she had tracked him down and that was the main reason he had answered.

"Mr. Malfoy, sir I work for a law office and we were wondering if you would come in for a meeting. We, uh have a unique issue that we think you could help us with. Before you say no, we know who you are and what, more importantly, you are sir." That beyond anything intrigued him.

"You haven't even told me your name so how am I supposed to agree to meet you. For all I know you are just trying to get money out of me."

"My name is of no importance, I am just an assistant. You will be working for Mr. Cohen; if you come and meet he will be the one you would see."

"What, exactly, do you mean you know what I am, am I an animal or murderer? Because I can tell you that I am neither and do not appreciate the threat." Without another word Draco hung up. After searching the internet for two hours trying to narrow down the search of Mr. Cohen using the limited information that Draco called back.

"Ok I will see Mr. Cohen at three o'clock." Draco hung up his phone and quickly went to his favorite web page. He stared at her picture; she always takes his breath away. She had grown out of whatever awkwardness she had when she was younger. Even though her picture was still it felt like she was staring right at him. He could feel himself start reacting to the thought of looking into her eyes. He laid the picture on his chest and thought about what it would be like to have just one night with her. _I won't go down that path again. I need to stop this. She doesn't even know I exist and I am not going to keep this fantasy up anymore._

"Mr. Malfoy, thank you for coming and meeting me. I know that my assistant was a little…..abstract in his explanation. I assume you have noticed why I picked this particular location for our little meeting." It was then that Draco noticed that everyone except the man sitting across from him was a witch or wizard.

"How do you know about us? And what can I do for you that your own kind can't do just the same?" The man seemed a little taken aback by the directness. If he was annoyed or agitated he didn't show it.

"I have been trying to search for someone who can tell the difference between us Mr. Malfoy. Usually all they can say is that your kind dress weird but that's not good enough. Thieves know how to blend and I need someone-"

"You need someone who can tell the difference to make sure that they aren't under another's magical persuasion." Cohen smiled and nodded. He then held out a document in a clear sleeve.

"It's been tampered with. If I'm not mistaken it's a transformation paper. The paper appears one way to the person being misled and to everyone else it reads how the writer wanted it to appear." Another nod and smile from Cohen. He then handed Draco a piece of paper with a large number written on it. Draco looked at the number and nodded at Cohen. Draco had started to get over the feelings for Hermione, or at least he thought he had. Seeing her in the elevator just made him realize that those feelings were still there and weren't going anywhere. Why hadn't Draco noticed the name on the directory before? There it was as clear as day was Patrick Granger.

Hermione got on the elevator bound and determined to talk to Draco. She wanted to explain why she got off the lift so quickly and without so much as a goodbye. He was there alone. Neither one of them knows who made the first move. It was like they were opposites of a magnet being drawn to each other. Their lips met and with sudden realization Hermione noticed how perfectly their bodies lined up. Draco's hands were in her hair and that alone was sending chills down her spine. She had her hands exploring his back and arms. Draco's arms made their way down her back landing on her lower back, a heartbeat above the start of her butt. She could feel her desire start pooling in her stomach and slowly trickling down to her loins. He takes his slightly rough hands and starts moving them where ever he can sending shivers and goose bumps through her. When he bumps up against her she can feel how much he is being affected by their snogging. She feels his hands go towards the button on her jeans and her desire amps up all the more.

Hermione's phone wakes her up and it takes a second for her to realize that that was a dream.

"What a wonderful dream." She mutters as she gets up to answer it. She didn't even know she had fallen asleep, last thing she remembered was grading some quizzes.

"Hermione, you sound like you are in a good mood, would you want to have lunch with Harry and I? We haven't seen you since I came and told you about our engagement."

"Ginny, uh, yeah sure, why don't you two come to my house and I'll make us a celebratory lunch?"

"We'll be there in a few minutes."

Hermione made short work of cleaning her immaculate house. She heard the telltale pop and opened her front door to see a beaming Ginny and Harry. As she was closing the door she heard another pop and her heart froze, turning to see Ron standing there.

"Hello Ron. Harry, Ginny will you please explain why he is here? You two were invited not him. I have already explained everything to Ron and I don't need an intervention." She stormed off and realized that her small house did not leave any exit plans, save for using her wand and leaving.

"Hermione we are concerned for you, we know that you are hurting. But leaving a significant part of your life by the side of the road won't do any good. How are you going to explain to your parents when your child-" Ginny sees the look on her face and any argument died in her throat.

"You have no idea what that was like. Ron, you just kept going on like nothing happened. I am hurting and I just want it all to stop. Things are easier this way. It's not all about the miscarriage either. I saw friends die; friends who were barely starting to come into their own. I close my eyes and all I see is the war. You have been able to go on but I can't. Eight years of nightmares and questions. I just want to be able to sleep without a nightmare. I can't do that and stay in the wizarding world. I see Olivander and I see him dying because he didn't give Voldemort the right answer. I think about Hogwarts and I think about Snape, Tonks, Remus, Fred and MadEye. And I can't make it stop unless I am not there anymore." The tears that were making her throat thick were now on her cheeks. Hermione sat on her couch and felt someone sit down next to her. Ron's arms around her felt wrong and for an instant she wished they were Draco's.

"You have all moved on, just move on without me. I'll be fine I just can't and won't return to that world." With that Hermione walked into her guest room grabbing the one thing she didn't want to.

"Take it. Someone else can have it." Ginny knew what it was and finally realized that this was not a phase she was going through. Quietly she took the case and nodded at Harry and Ron. They walked out the front door and disapparated.

Draco awoke with a start. He'd had dreams about Hermione before but that one was intense to say the least. It felt like they were really in the lift together. He could still feel her hair in his hands, her breath on his neck and her scent of honeysuckles.

After taking a cold shower and rushing to work Draco wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone and was getting his way so far. He saw someone standing in front of his door. From about ten yards away he thought it looked like Hermione but as he kept walking he was in fact pleasantly correct. He watched her amusingly trying to knock on the door; she kept raising her hand to knock and then bringing it down.

"Hermione" He might as well have shouted her name for the way she jumped. She spun around and ran her half raised hand through her hair.

"Hello Draco." He opened his door and ushered her in, he was going to leave the door open but thought better of it and closed it.

"What brings you here?" It seemed to take her a few seconds to form her thoughts coherently.

"Do you still do magic? I know it's forward but you do work in a muggle office and I, never mind I'll just go." She had gotten to the door and had the door partially open when a hand came and gently closed it. Just having him that near to her made her dream come flying back to her. She had to fight the blush that threatened to rush over her. She could feel his breath hitting her shoulder and she turned to look into his eyes. Where once she saw hatred and anger she now saw sadness and longing. Tentatively she kissed him. Saying that they were both shocked by what just happened would be saying that the sky is kinda blue. She pulled back and looked into his grey eyes.

"Oh um I did-" this time his kiss was not shy, Draco's mouth was soft and warm. He had a sense of sudden and urgent need. Her hands went to his neck and jaw. His hands went to her hips and stayed. Her mouth opened in invitation and she nudged his lips apart with her tongue. His hands traveled to her hair and with a moan that Hermione could not hide he kept them tangled in the silky softness. He pulled back and caught his breath looking into her brown eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_A.N. I want to again thank those of you who are reading this story. I really enjoyed writing especially that last chapter. I added in something about Hermione's miscarriage. I am not sure if what I described actually happens but I claim creative license ;-). Here is Chapter 4. I don't own anything, wish I did though. Feel free to review._

**Chapter 4**

"Draco, you have that look again." With a blush Hermione grabbed her water and swallowed a tiny bit. All they did was kiss, a lot, in Draco's office. Hermione just couldn't get the feeling like they had done more out of her head.

"Probably wishful thinking." She said to herself. They had decided to take things slowly. As Draco was quick to point out, they were enemies in school. He still didn't want to know anything about Ron or Harry.

"Did you just say something?" Draco brought Hermione out of her head long enough to realize that she must have been talking aloud to herself again.

"Sorry, I uh was hoping the menu would have something on it but apparently it doesn't." She didn't want to tell him quite yet how she was feeling towards him. She still hadn't explained why she and Ron weren't together. Hell, Draco doesn't even know she gave up magic. She gives Draco an appraising view. He was currently ensconced in the menu and didn't notice her watching him. Just like when he was in school, he has an air of entitlement, but unlike then this is one of earned respect, not just mandatory respect. His white blonde hair is cut the same as in school and he has stayed slender but there were muscles when she felt his arms and chest. His shirts and pants fit him perfectly and added to an overall sense of sexiness. His eyes had a way of piercing through her. She could always tell when he was looking at her, even at Hogwarts.

"Ok, we've been out three times and I think it's time we get down to the what have you been doing since Hogwarts stuff out of the way." He fixed his grey eyes onto her brown ones. Hermione fully intended to leave out the miscarriage and the engagement, but looking into his eyes it was coming out of her mouth before she blinked.

"I had a miscarriage about two years ago. Ron and I were….getting really serious. When I found out I was pregnant we decided that we wanted to get married. Four months into the pregnancy we went for an ultrasound and that's when we found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat. I miscarried that night. I didn't even make it to the scheduled abortion or even the hospital. Did you know that when you a have a miscarriage that you can have cramps that feel like labor pain? I didn't know that but that's what I experienced, without the happy ending of a crying child being put into your arms. Ron got over it but I can't. Every time I close my eyes I either see my dead baby or I see one of my fallen friends laying on the stone hallway at Hogwarts. I erased my parents' memories so they don't know about my past, as far as they know I went away to a private school and onto college. I keep getting Ginny, Harry and Ron telling me it will get easier. I have nightmares almost every night. It's been eight years since the war and two since the miscarriage and I can't move on I am stuck." Feeling as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders Hermione ventured a glance at Draco. She was shocked to see that he had tears in his eyes and he was staring at her.

Without another word Draco sat in a chair next to her and pulled her into a tight hug. The tears that she had always been able to hold in now couldn't be. She didn't want to cry but the feeling of safeness and trusting made that impossible. Her sobs quietly shook her body as he sat there rubbing her hair and back. What she couldn't see was that as he was holding her Draco was silently crying as well. His heart broke over the fact that he couldn't have been there to help her when it seemed that everyone else just expected her to rebound. After a few shuddering breathes Hermione pulled away and reached for her napkin to wipe her eyes. Looking at Draco she could see something that made her heart skip a beat. She saw love. And she knew that she felt the same way towards him. Draco got up and kissed her forehead and sat down across from her. The waitress materialized out of nowhere and took their orders. If she had seen anything she was nice enough not to let them know about it.

"So, please take the attention off of me and let's put it on you. Tell me about what you've been up to."

"I still live in the house that was my parents; they are in Azkaban, if you didn't know." Hermione nodded, that had been told to her by Harry.

"I haven't really kept up with anyone from school; they either have disappeared or are in Azkaban. I am a magical detector. I basically look over paperwork and watch people to see if they might possibly be under a spell. I really haven't been doing much in my time since Hogwarts. I've been trying to stay under the radar. There are still people out there that either wants me dead because of my mark; or they want to try and start another uprising. I don't really do any magic these days, since I work with muggles and it would be too much work to try and explain or to erase their memories over and over."

After their lunch was over they decided to walk the park, it was a beautiful fall day and the leaves were a blaze with yellows and reds and some greens still mixed in. Draco casually, or he hoped it came across like that, slipped his hand into Hermione's. If you asked anyone who saw them together that day they would all agree that they could see two people who were completely in love with each other. What they didn't know, or notice, was someone following them. A certain red headed boy who was still not completely over his once fiancé; Ron still hoped that Hermione would come to her senses and come back to him. He followed them to a secluded alley way.

"Hermione, what the bloody hell are you doing with Malfoy? He is an ass and you shouldn't even be talking to him. He tried at every turn to kill Harry." Before Hermione could respond Draco grabbed them both and disapparated and apparated at his house. It had been almost two years since Hermione had done that so her stomach protested to the squeezing pulling twisting sensations.

"Let me set the record straight Ron-" The next feeling Draco had was Ron punching him across the face.

"Don't you DARE speak to me you piece of trash. You picked your side when you got that damn dark mark. Hermione is too good for you and you aren't going to take her from me. She's my fiancé PERIOD." Ron had a stinging feeling hit his cheek and looked up to see Hermione glaring at him. She proceeded to crouch down to the floored Draco and check on him.

"Oh come off it Hermione, you can't honestly tell me that you are choosing him over me. He has done nothing but cause us trouble."

"No Ron, just stop it. I am not your fiancé; I haven't been for quite a while. The miscarriage was just the final nail in the coffin. I don't know how more specific I need to get but I. DON'T. LOVE. YOU. We were nothing but a shoulder to lean on with each other. You were there, and that is all."

"I won't give up on you Hermione, we belong together." With that Ron disapparated, Draco had gotten off the floor and moved to his couch and Hermione could see the bruise starting to form on his jaw.

"I am so sorry Draco; I can't believe Ron did that." Hermione gently touched the bruise making Draco flinch a little. Noticing the ice bucket sitting on the drink cabinet Hermione brought it over to him and took a piece of ice in her hand. She gently applied it to the bruise. He couldn't feel it, and it wasn't the ice causing the lack of feeling. The look of tenderness in her eyes took the pain away. Hermione had straddled Draco to better apply the ice to his jaw. Draco leaned up and kissed her.

"I-I love you, Hermione. I have for a long time." He saw a flicker of surprise and something else in her eyes, excitement upon further looking.

"I love you too Draco." Without another word Draco picked up Hermione bridal style and took her to his bedroom. The ice had long since melted in her hand. Like their first kiss four weeks ago, this kiss was tentative and shy. It seemed as if neither one wanted to rush something and hurt the other one. Draco seemed to be trying to memorize everything he could. How her skin prickles when he kisses her neck. The feel of her lips on his ear, whispering, teasing and kissing. The contours of her body the feel of how easily they align with each other. It didn't take long before he was aching for her. Through heavily hooded eyes she looked into his eyes. Hermione saw the desire and unabashed want in them.

"I have wanted this, dreamed about it, since our fifth year. You were out sitting under a tree and the sun was setting and hitting you so beautifully. You took my breath away." Hermione rolled Draco onto his back and sat up to take her shirt off leaving a purple lace bra with pink flowers on. If Hermione thought Draco's touch was electric before on her actual skin it made her go weak. She could feel the ache building between her legs. She felt his desire on her inner thigh and that made the ache start pulsing. Slowly she began to unbutton his shirt kissing the newly exposed skin on the way down. Her breath on his chest and stomach sent goose bumps through him.

"Hermione, I want to offer you an out if you want. I know that we agreed to take things slowly, and I am giving you a chance to slow things down." Any doubt that Draco had was quickly squashed by a hard teasing kiss from Hermione.

"I want you Draco. I am not the same little book nerd that you knew in school. I have since found my voice." Draco bit back a laugh at that, when has she ever been lacking a voice. He could understand that being surrounded by Harry and Ron hers tended to be the one that was in the background. Brushing the hair out of her eyes Draco followed the line of her cheek and jaw down to her shoulder. It seemed like an instant and they were both completely naked.

Draco's touching took on an edge of authority. He deftly rolled Hermione onto her back and sat between her legs. He took in her gorgeous naked form for a second before he started kissing her legs working towards her peak. When his tongue found the spot her hips bucked and she cried out. Draco teased her licking a little then stopping to look at her. He loved the look of want that played across her face. Hermione sat up, as best as she could, and kissed him.

"Quit teasing me Draco. I want you." That was all he needed to hear. With a kiss that seized Hermione's mouth he plunged himself into her. She gasped with the suddenness and his size. It didn't take long until she was on the brink. Draco made sure that whenever she got close to a release he would purposefully slow down keeping it at bay. Each time he did that she would practically cry out. He could feel her getting slick and that sent him to the brink as well. When he felt the telltale squeeze he could no longer hold his orgasm in.

"Draco, oh god." That was all she could get out before she went off the cliff. As he watched her face as pleasure washed over it, Draco's heart melted. That look on her face is what makes him reach his peak. He couldn't even speak her name, not for lack of trying though. They laid in each other's arms slowly falling into a post sex sleep.

It was the first time in eight years that Hermione didn't have a nightmare. She slept so soundly that she didn't wake up until the sun was streaming into the bedroom. Draco had woken up a few minutes earlier and it took a second for him to remember what happened and when he saw Hermione curled up in his arms he felt complete. She just looked so beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

_A.N.: Thank you all for reading. I own nothing. This chapter is a little different because this has more of a Ron centered pov. There is some Ginny and Harry as well, but mainly Ron and Hermione. Please enjoy chapter 5. I will try to update with regularity, my everyday updating isn't going to happen anymore. The plot is taking longer for me to work out than the first part did._

**Chapter 5**

"Mum, are you here?" Ginny called out at her old front door. Since getting engaged to Harry Ginny has been living in his house, Sirius's old house that is. Thankfully the damage that was done during the war was minimal. It hadn't taken them long to get it cleaned up, besides the curtained portrait, the house was coming together very nicely. Kreacher had even started warming up to Ginny, not nearly calling her a blood traitor as often as he used to. It still seemed odd to be in a house that was once packed to the ceiling with people so empty. Everyone had moved out. It seemed that the most frequent visitors were Ginny and George.

Ginny knew that just like Bill's and Fleur's wedding, her mother was using this as a way to keep her mind off of the sadness. Percy had long since alienated himself from his family; he claimed that the Ministry of Magic was always trying to do the right thing. After having a very heated fight with Arthur, Percy stormed out. That was almost a year ago. Inevitably Ginny's thoughts went to Ron. He was having a difficult time dealing with the fact that Hermione was with Draco. She didn't want to say it but Ginny could see the reasons why.

"Ginny" A touch on her shoulder from her mom startled Ginny out of her thoughts.

"Let me get a look at that ring, and before you say I've already seen it, I just can't believe my baby is getting married in three months." Molly had a tear in her eye as she took her only daughter's hand. The ring was gorgeous and seemed to sparkle with the promise of a happy future. Quickly grabbing her cape and a hand full of floo powder, Molly ushered Ginny into their fireplace to head off to do more wedding shopping.

Ron kept catching and releasing the light in his room via his delluminator. His brain kept going back to his fight with Hermione. She'd said that he didn't know what she was going through. He does, he was there when she'd started bleeding. He'd been there holding her when the cramping pain took hold of her. His heart broke alongside hers. His heart broke when he'd heard the lack of a heartbeat. It broke looking into her eyes at the realization that their child wouldn't be coming. Begrudgingly Ron got ready to meet up with Harry.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Harry slapped Ron's back gently.

"I've been hiding from Mum and Ginny. They are going bent about this wedding. I'm sorry that I've been out of touch." They walked into the Leaky Cauldron. Harry's mere presence made people quiet down. It had diminished over the eight years but there was still a hush that followed him. Ron knew that he wasn't being good company but he just couldn't get his last fight out of his mind.

"Can I ask you something, Harry? Did my reaction to the loss of…..of, you know….did it seem off to you?"

"I can't say Ron. You seemed to be putting on a brave face whenever I saw you. Why are you asking?"

Ron knew he should have told Harry about what was going on, but for some reason he couldn't quite make himself.

"It's just something Hermione said to me is all. So three months until the day. Are you getting nervous at all?" If Harry noticed the change of topic he didn't comment on it. Ron tried to listen and interact but he knows that he was quiet.

"Mate, just know that if you need to talk about anything, I am here, as is your sister." With a nod and a slap on the back the men went their separate way. Harry apparated almost immediately but Ron just wandered through Diagon alley. He didn't want to go back to his, their, apartment quite yet. He just can't stand the silence that hung in the air. She had to be speaking out of pain, or sadness, saying that she didn't love him anymore. Ron took to talking aloud in the apartment, like she was still there. It made him feel a sense of closeness that was getting harder and harder to feel.

As Ron walked along Diagon alley he thought about Hermione telling him she was pregnant. They had been using a protection spell, but apparently like condoms, they aren't a 100% effective. He'd thought there'd been a death in her family the way she was crying.

"Hermione what is wrong, did something bad happen?" She sniffed and leaned into him when he sat next to her.

"I'm pre-pregnant Ron. I've taken three muggle tests and three magical tests. They all say the same thing. We're too young for this Ron. I'm only 24, it's just too soon." She jumped up and started pacing stopping at the window for a second before turning. Ron grabbed her gently around the middle and hugged her to him. He could feel that she was tense and stressed.

"I want to marry you Hermione; this is just what I wanted, you, our child and happiness. My job is more than stable as is yours. Hermione Granger, will you please marry me? And before you go off on saying that this isn't planned…here." Ron pulled out a ring that he'd been carrying for a few weeks waiting for the perfect moment, or rather the courage to ask. Seeing tears in her eyes he slipped the ring on her finger.

Ron is startled so much that he stops walking. She never said yes. Not even a nod or smile. Just tears in her eyes. He immediately disapparated and appeared in front of her door. He knocked for what seemed like an hour before realizing that she wasn't home. He checked his watch and figured she was still at the university so Ron waited, and waited, and waited. At some point he falls asleep leaning up against her door.

"Ron, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" Groggily Ron opens a bleary eye to see Hermione kneeling next to him.

"You never said yes. Why? You loved me enough to move in and make love to me but not enough to marry me." Wordlessly Hermione opens her door and ushers Ron inside.

It was time that she really tell him how she feels, and felt.

"I need you to listen to everything and I mean really listen, Ron. Please let me say everything first, ok?" Ron just sat and nodded. Hermione started pacing and stopped once she reached her dining room chairs and sat down so that she could still be seen by Ron; but so that she could look at the wall in front of her rather than look directly at him. On second thought Hermione got up and grabbed a couple of glasses and a bottle of whisky she had. After pouring herself a small glass she did the same for Ron. He got up and they sat opposite each other at her dining room table. Hermione took a fortifying sip and looked at Ron.

"I'm truly sorry that we've ended up here. I know that my leaving and giving up on magic is…..odd. I know that I've done little to explain my reasoning except saying that things have been difficult. While that is true I'm slowly figuring out that you won't leave until you know everything." She took another sip of whisky noting that her hands were slightly shaking. Ron hadn't taken a sip of his whisky yet. He just kept quietly staring at her waiting for what was coming. When she was trying to formulate what to say Ron took a breath.

"Hermione, please listen to me. I know that you are still having nightmares about the war and about us losing our child. I still have dreams about Fred. I have dreams where you are holding our child and as you hand me the child it disappears, along with you. So I know all about nightmares. You know what keeps them at bay? Having you there when I wake up; just seeing you asleep next to me made me feel like I could take on the world. I see Harry and Ginny and I see us. I see their happiness and I remember us telling my parents we were pregnant. You had a glow about you that I just couldn't get enough of. You even glowed when you were asleep. It broke my heart when you had the miscarriage. I am not an unfeeling oaf who just went on with my life, that killed me. I wanted that child so much." Ron downed his glass of whiskey and promptly poured himself another. Hermione sat silently thinking over what was just said. She looked at Ron and downed her glass as well.

"Ron, I'm sorry I haven't explained myself. When I found out I was pregnant I started thinking about what life is better. Your childhood, full of magic, or mine, none. I just kept coming to the conclusion that I didn't want to live in a magic filled world anymore. To not know if someone has been cursed or put under a spell to empty their bank account. It's not a world I want to live in anymore. I was sad that our child never came but I am also relieved. I think that sooner or later we would have ended things. You deserve someone else, not me. Someone who gets your humor and your quirks."

"You're the one I want Hermione, no one else, just you. You are the one person who I see whenever I imagine my future."

Hermione went to pour herself another glass of whisky but surprisingly the near full bottle was completely empty. With that shock the wave of drunkenness hit her. Looking at Ron she could tell that he was in a similar state. Realizing the difficulty of getting up, Ron slowly moved towards her and helped her up. A note of thanks played across her face. Before either knew what was happening, he'd kissed her. The urgency in his kiss took Hermione by surprise. In her drunken addled state she let him lead her to her bedroom where he carefully, though sloppy, undressed her. Hermione started to return the kisses that Ron was giving.

Upon waking up very hungover, Hermione felt an arm across her side and relaxed for a second before realizing the sleeping noises were not what she had grown accustomed to coming from Draco. Her heart froze and the memories from last night came back in flashes. They are kissing, she is letting him undress her and she is doing the same to him, she is heavily snogging him, he is caressing her as they have sex.

"Oh God." A wave of familiar nausea comes over her and she runs to her bathroom. Thankfully Ron is a heavy sleeper and did not wake up. Quietly she showers and dresses. Hermione tries to leave without waking him up but thinks better of it.

"Ugh, I am so hungover." Ron quickly remembers what happens and he blushes with embarrassment. He looks at Hermione perched on the very edge of her bed.

"Before you say anything, Hermione, this was not a mistake. It is nature's way of saying we belong together." With a sigh Hermione sits further on her bed, folding her leg underneath her.


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: I own nothing but my own ideas._

**Chapter 6**

"Before you say anything, Hermione, this was not a mistake. It is nature's way of saying we belong together." With a sigh Hermione sits further on her bed, folding her leg underneath her. She can't quite bring herself to look at Ron. More than mere mortification, Hermione is just plain angry.

Sitting at his desk barely able to concentrate, Draco thinks about his parents. He can't help but think about how odd it is to him that out of all the witches at Hogwarts his heart found her. She wasn't "pure" as his father loved to say; Lucius would point out the mix bloods and laugh saying that they were just trash.

"You, Draco, are a Pureblood. You are entitled to everything and will not be denied anything by society. We are a dying breed and as such are treated with revere." Draco used to believe that with every fiber of his being. Sitting back in his chair he looks at the dark mark on his arm and thinks about joining the Death Eaters. He didn't want to, by that point Draco was having some serious concerns about the wizarding future. Pureblood, that is what his father whispered before pointing his wand at Draco's arm and saying the words that forever scarred him. Voldemort scared Draco so much; this is a manthing that could kill you just as look at you. He didn't want to be brought into the plot to destroy Dumbledore. Draco liked him. He was the only person who treated people with respect; respect that wasn't based on lineage.

"Dad, I-I'm not so sure I want to be a part of this anymore." With that statement Draco knew the sting of his father's hand. When he looked up Lucius had his wand pointed at Draco.

"You will not disgrace our family name. You will do as told or I won't stop him when he punishes you, and trust me Draco his punishments are not kind to kids." Lucius turned without another word and walked out of the room. From that night on he didn't tell anyone about his doubts. As the war got closer and the stresses at home got worse Draco came to the conclusion that he was going to run away from this world. Lucius was too busy trying to appease Voldemort to notice. Draco's mom, on the other hand, seemed to know what he was thinking before Draco even knew. About three days before Draco was going to escape, his mom came into his bedroom.

"Draco, sit. We need to have a little chat. I know that you have been having some difficulty with what is going on in our house. I just want you to know that that is understandable." Draco could feel the stress leaving his body. Before he could utter another word though, Narcissa continued speaking.

"You will not, however, disgrace our family. We are too powerful for a little brat like you to have a tantrum." Like her husband had done before, Narcissa stood and walked out the room without another word. Up until that point Draco had always held out an, albeit a fleeting, glimmer of hope that he would not be called on to become a Death Eater.

His heart fell with dread the day his Aunt Bellatrix came into his kitchen. Draco could see the indescribable pleasure on her face, and he knew it was not good.

"Come here Draco, The Dark Lord has called upon you. He wants you to do a special mission for him. Go and make sure you are presentable. We do not want to disgrace our lineage." Bellatrix whirled out of the kitchen as if she was making party plans.

With shaky legs Draco stood in front of Voldemort. When he looked up he saw surrounding him in a circle were Death Eaters. One in particular stepped forward and upon removing his mask Draco saw it was his father. Lucius took out his wand and saying a complicated spell; none of which Draco heard. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart and his brain screaming for him to find a way out of this. With a shot of pain that nearly buckled his knees, Draco was a marked boy.

Ever since Voldemort died, Draco has been trying to do his best to distance himself from a life he no longer wanted. Hell, he still has flashes of seeing Voldemort standing right in front of him, and the Death Eaters circled upon him. He never spoke to his parents, his mom tried contacting him once from Azkaban, but Draco turned the owl away. Part of him believed that he should suffer. Draco did have a part in this war and all that went on and therefore should be in Azkaban with the rest of them. When he told this to the new Ministry of Magic they looked at him with kindness and pity; which made Draco even angrier. He didn't need people's pity. He needed punishment. After visiting the Ministry three times the answer finally revealed itself as to why he was not in Azkaban.

"Mr. Malfoy, we had a visitor come and speak with us. This person, whose word we trust implicitly, said that they could see that you were an unwilling participant in the events that took place. We do not punish those who don't deserve it. As I see it, your suffering and your pain, is your punishment." Draco tried fruitlessly to figure out who came and spoke on his behalf. He didn't know whether to say thank you or to be angry at them. Draco realizes with a startle that his cheeks are slightly damp. He quickly wipes them and gets up from his desk. Fresh air will do a world of good for him right now. The only person who ever really sees him was the one person that concerns him the most right now. Hermione is suffering and for the life of him Draco can't figure out how to help her. If he knew that she would forgive him, Draco would go and talk to her parents.

"Draco, I know that you want to meet them but I-I'm just not quite ready to do that." Hermione has said that on numerous times. Draco always nods and smiles at her explanation. She is having nightmares, and from what he sees, they are getting worse. More times than not he wakes up to her screaming in her sleep. She has yet to say what she is dreaming, and Draco isn't ready to hear about them yet.

After a particularly bad night, he held her until the sun started to peek into the window. Draco knew that Hermione didn't sleep either. He tried to talk to her about it but was rebuffed.

"Draco, I-it was just a bad dream." She promptly changed the topic to breakfast and Draco knew well enough to not bring it up again.

"Hermione, are you ok? You've been sitting there for quite a while without saying a word." Unable to figure out how to articulate what she was feeling Hermione got up and walked out of her house. There was no point in her trying to explain why she was having issues with the wizarding world to someone who's grown up there. Hermione knew that Ron was right behind her. She wished that that comforted her. It would make things so easy. Everyone expected them to be together anyway. Hell, if she didn't know better she would assume that even a part of Draco thinks that she'll go back to Ron. He has been watching her an awful lot. Draco seems to be keeping a close eye on her. If she's not teaching then he's there with her.

Hermione knows that Draco is trying to figure out what is wrong with her. She once tried to go to St. Mungo's and speak with someone but as soon as they pulled out their wand to treat her she ran. It scared her more than she ever would have thought. The witch's treatment was to erase her memory.

"That is what we do when we have people who want to forget parts of their memories."

"I don't want to forget what happened. I need to remember that stuff, why would I want to forget it? So that when I asked about Dumbledore or Fred, or Tonks or Lupin or Snape; I have to relearn that they are dead. I am not going to do that." That was the one thing that made an ever easier decision made, she stopped doing magic as soon as she got home.

It took a second for Hermione to hear Ron calling her name. She slowed but did not stop walking.

"Jesus, Hermione where the hell are you going? We've been walking for an hour now and you have yet to say a single word to me. I deserve to know why. Why did you give up magic? Why are you pulling away from your friends? Why won't you talk to me anymore? You used to do that, you remember, you used to talk to me all the time. Please talk to me."

"It was a mistake Ron, just go home and leave me alone."

Ron stood there and debated whether or not he should go. He knew that when she made up her mind her mind stayed made up. He wasn't going to get anywhere standing there and just making her clam up. Ron turned on the spot and disapparated.

Hermione could breathe, albeit slightly, better now that Ron wasn't there. Instead of turning and going home, Hermione continued on. She thought back to St. Mungo's and thought about the main reason she had given up magic. Yes the war had taken its toll on her, as did losing the baby. Whereas those things made Harry and Ron stronger, those things broke her down. She couldn't think about the war without thinking about how she could have saved Tonks or Remus, no child should have to grow up without their parents. She wishes she could have been there to save Fred; his loss still affects the whole Weasly clan to this very day. Hermione can only see where she needed to be better. If she still had the time turner, would she have been able to save someone. It takes Hermione a second before she realizes where her path leads her. It is the same park she used to go to as a child. Surprisingly enough even twenty years later it was still the same. Sitting on an outlying bench, her brain wanders off. Surprisingly it does not go off into the past but rather into her future. Hermione starts wondering how her life would be if she stayed with, or got back together, with Ron. Chaos is all that comes to her mind. Hermione's heart starts to pound at the mere thought of the future, whether or not Ron is in it. She starts to hyperventilate and struggles to catch her breath. Hermione's world goes black.

"Miss, miss, Can you please tell me what your name is?" Hermione struggles to speak.

"Her-mione."

"Thank you Hermione, what is your last name? Is there anyone you want us to call?" There was only one person that her brain would let her think about.

"Draco, call Draco Malfoy." Hermione passes out again.

Draco sits at his desk looking over a videotape of a person who might possibly be spelled. In the ringing of his phone his world turns upside down.

"Mr. Malfoy, there is a woman here at the hospital that is asking for you, Her name is Hermione."

"I'll be right there." Draco's heart was pounding and he knew that driving would not work. As soon as he was alone Draco disapparated. He apparated in a, thankfully, empty stair well.

Draco sat in Hermione's room; she was asleep and had been since he'd entered the room. He'd already been briefed on what happened by the nurse.

"Apparently a mother and child came across her lying on the ground. She has an abrasion to her head and it looks like she had a panic attack. Do you know if there is any reason for the panic attack, has she been having any major stressors happening around her?"

"Um, she's had a bit of a hard few years. Is there anything I can do to help keep her from having these attacks?" The nurse hands him a pamphlet containing information and says that the doctor will stop by in a few hours to check on her. As long as Hermione holds steady she can go home tonight. Sitting and watching her all Draco could think is how he wished he could take away all her pain. As if on cue Hermione starts to moan softly and twitch. She is having a nightmare. Draco gets up and quickly puts his arm around her and whispers into her ears. That seems to calm her down, as she stops her moaning and curls into him.


	7. Chapter 7

_A.N. I want to thank native-kitten for reading and reviewing. This chapter is dedicated to you. I hope you all liked my interpretation of Draco's life during the DH book. Here is chapter 7 please read and review. Oh, and also enjoy. _

**Chapter 7**

Hermione had to stay in the hospital for a few days after her fainting, the doctors wanted to make sure there wasn't any underlying issues. If he had it his way Draco would have kept her there until they could make the panic attacks stop. He'd broached the subject of going to a wizarding hospital only once to Hermione and her look alone made him shut up.

"Draco don't make me regret asking for you to stay here. I just need to take things easier that is all, ok now can we just drop it and talk about something else. I have always hated being in hospitals." She didn't want to mention that the reason was when she was petrified by the basilisk that she could still hear everything. She could hear the suffering, the pain that others were going through in the nurse's ward. It was one such day that she was petrified that she felt an unfamiliar hand touch hers. It took a second for Hermione to hear the person's sobs, they sounded like they were trying to not let anybody know they were crying. Initially she had thought that it was Ron, or slightly possible that it was Harry. It wasn't until she heard her name that the voice clicked. It was Draco's voice. It was that moment that made Hermione start looking at Draco as more than just the bad guy.

Just when she thought he'd stop crying and leave she would hear the pause in his voice and the sniffing would start again. If Hermione were a betting woman she would have guessed he'd come there to confess but just couldn't. Little did she know that he was actually trying to build up the courage to actually speak to her. Draco figured that this was the safest way to tell her, she was in no way shape or form able to laugh at his confession.

Draco stayed at the hospital with Hermione, calling in sick to his work for the week. On the day they left an outsider wouldn't be able to tell which one had been the patient, being that they both were beyond happy and ready to leave the hospital.

"Hermione, you need to get rest and I am not letting you stay at your home all alone waiting for another panic attack to hit you. You are coming back to my house and there is no more discussion." Draco knew well enough to not look at her because that's all he'd need to do to break down and do whatever she wanted. He just kept walking to his car and opened the door. Hermione kept trying to get his eye and when she realized that he wasn't going to give in. With a huff of annoyance she sat in the passenger seat. Draco let a slight smile slip across his lips as he walked around to the driver's side.

"What is with the smile?"

"I just won an argument with you, that is a rarity." He heard a chuckle come from Hermione and he felt her soft hand gently rest on his thigh. It still amazed him that just the merest brush of her skin against his still made his heart stop and pound all at the same time. When they were in school together Draco had always assumed that Hermione was just uptight and serious. In the six months that they'd reconnected with each other, Draco has seen many sides of her coming out. They bubbled to the surface with more and more frequency. Hermione would never tell anyone, especially Draco, but just having someone who knew about her past and didn't pressure her to go back to magic put her at ease.

Stepping into the foyer Hermione smiled, she felt like she was home. She didn't even feel like that at her own home. Draco quietly took her bag up to his bedroom leaving Hermione wandering through the house. He was happy that he'd spent the previous day cleaning the house. With a startling realization that made him stop Draco didn't clean the house with magic, he'd done it by hand. He couldn't really remember the last time he'd used magic, probably the last girl that was here. He'd spelled the doors to stay locked except for the ones that led her to the front door.

"What's wrong, why are you just standing there? Did you forget where your room was?" Draco visibly jumped at the sound of her voice. Hermione gave him a quizzical look and took her bag and started walking towards his bedroom. Quietly Draco followed her into his room. As soon as he'd put his bag down Hermione turned towards him and kissed him. It had the feeling of trying to be soft and tender but came out as a crushing startlingly desperate kiss. He pulled back and looked at Hermione. Her eyes had unshed tears in them. Draco took his thumb and gently wiped away the tears that had started leaking out.

"Hermione what is wrong?"

"I, I am just so grateful that you stayed by my side in the hospital. I couldn't have asked anybody else to stay without having to endure endless questions that, frankly, I'm not ready to answer. I love you so much Draco." When Hermione looked into Draco's eyes his were radiating happiness and love.

"I love you too Hermione, I love you so much I want to marry you." It took him a second to realize that he'd actually proposed to Hermione. With a startled second of stunned silence they just looked at each other. Without another word Draco quickly walked out of the room. Hermione stood there stunned. Her brain was replaying the last few seconds trying to process it. In the blink of an eye Draco was back in front of her on one knee. He opened the jewelry box he'd had for just a week. The ring was breathtaking. It was a solitaire cushion cut diamond on a twisted silver band.

Hermione gasped and looked at Draco. This time it was her turn to wipe the tears quietly slipping down his cheeks.

"Hermione Jean Granger, I have no words for how you have changed my life. In the past nine months we've been together I wake up with your name on my lips and your face as the last thing that crosses my mind as I fall asleep. I have never known anyone like you. You are indescribable. You make me want to figure out how to create a world with more hours in a day so I can have more time with you. Will you please give me the greatest gift and marry me?"

Hermione sank onto both of her knees and nodded her head. If she could speak she would have screamed yes but currently she had a lump in her throat. As Draco slipped the ring onto her finger Hermione felt as if this is where she was always meant to be. Hermione leapt on top of Draco, plastering him to the tile floor. She laughed and kissed him anywhere she could. Draco began laughing and struggled to sit up. Gently pushing Hermione off of him Draco stood up and took her hand and led her to the bed. He took his time kissing her. He let her know with every kiss that he loved her. Every touch, every caress, was filled with tenderness and the yearning for something more. Unlike their first time which was more about urgency and desperate need, this time was all about relishing each other. Draco kissed Hermione's eyelids and cheeks and he nibbled and sucked on her ears. Hermione kissed his shoulder and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. As soon as his shirt was unbuttoned Draco shrugged out of it; as he did that Hermione pulled off her shirt as well. The satin sheets caused her to get goose bumps that were only heightened by Draco's lips on her stomach. Hermione was shivering with anticipation. Draco pulled off her pants and underwear in one move. He still had on his boxer briefs. Hermione rolled Draco off of her and she sat on his legs as she began to tease him the same way that he was teasing her.

She dragged her nails up and down his chest and stomach seeing the same goose bumps that were on her show up on his body. Draco was already starting to pant in anticipation of what was about to happen. In the blink of an eye she removed his underwear and started to kiss and lick him around his arousal. Draco started panting even harder and grabbed her hand pulling her towards him. He kissed her lips and gently moved her hips over his. She teased him by just slightly keeping her other lips just grazing his wanting head.

When they finally joined together they both cried out and sat still for a second absorbing the sensations. Hermione was hot and tight. She could tell that Draco was already on the verge of coming. Slowly she started moving her hips and instantly Draco met her sway with a thrust. He could see her eyes start dilating and he felt himself rushing towards the blissful ending. With a shudder Hermione came and right behind her was Draco. For the first time she had multiple waves of ecstasy crash over her. She could feel him pumping himself into her and see in his eyes love radiating out at her. She slid next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She ran her nails along his abdomen loving the feeling of the muscles there.

"Oh god, Hermione that was…beyond words." Draco slipped out of bed and didn't try to hide himself as he went and got a glass of water from the bathroom. He walked back towards her and Hermione looked him over. She loved how he looked. As she took the glass of water she looked at her ring and her breathe was taken away. She took it off to look closer at it. That is when she noticed the inscription on the thin band. The ring said: My love is forever yours DM and HG. Hermione slipped the ring back on her finger and smiled. This is how getting engaged should feel.

"Mom, hey it's me….. I have some great news….Draco…..yes he did!" Draco could hear her mother squeal with delight. "Yes mom we will get together as soon as possible….ok love you bye…." She laughed as she closed her cell phone. Draco was dressing for work, Hermione was already dressed. Standing behind him she wrapped her arms around his chest and looked at him in the mirror. Her heart was so full and contented. It had been a week since they'd gotten engaged and Hermione hadn't had one single nightmare, she'd had a few flashes of memories but they were brief and few and far between.

"Class, today we are going to discuss borderline personality disorder." Hermione could hear the class quietly sigh; she knows she hasn't been such a good teacher this semester. Feeling her ring on her finger she smiled and didn't let it get to her like she would have before. The class went better than she's ever had it go. There was a very interesting conversation about disorders. As Hermione walked to her car, nearly floating is how she felt, a familiar voice brought her down to earth with a thud.

"What are you so happy about, Hermione?"

"Harry what are you doing here? I can't talk I've got an appointment that I can't miss." She knows he saw her ring and he grabbed her hand and looked.

"Wow, Ron got you another ring, I would have just given you the same one you had. I guess that wizarding shop is doing better than anyone really thought." Hermione knew that he wasn't trying to sound mean but that is how it came across. She retracted her hand and put her briefcase in that hand to keep him from grabbing it again. It would make sense that Harry would just automatically think that she was engaged to Ron again. Harry never really stopped and thought things out. He'd always left that for Hermione. Harry was more of the rush in and wreck havoc then try to figure out a strategy.

"I'm not engaged to Ron, Harry. We are over and have been for almost a year and a half. I am engaged to Draco Malfoy." Hermione held her head high and waited for the expected look of shock and betrayal to cross his features. It took a second for the words to process through Harry and then the looks were there.

"He is our enemy Hermione. What part of that do you not understand? He was the one who put Tom Riddle's diary in amongst Ginny's books. He was the one who caused her to nearly die. He was the one who set up Hogwarts by finding and sharing the room of requirement to the death eaters."

"I am not having this discussion again. I am happy with Draco and you can take it or leave it." Without another word Hermione got into her car and drove away. She'd recently put her house up for sale and had been steadily moving her stuff into Draco's house. His house was slowly becoming more of their place, not quite so stark anymore.

Only her parents knew about Hermione's move. Since her relationship with Draco, Hermione has gotten closer to her parents. Draco doesn't try to get her to do magic, and that helps her relax. In the past nine months Hermione couldn't help but feel that if she hadn't met Draco again; Hermione would have had a nervous breakdown and would probably not be able to function.

She leaned against Draco as he read the newspaper and she graded papers.

"This is what I've always wanted. I used to fantasize about doing exactly this with my husband. I just feel like my life is finally what I've always wanted it to be."

"Me too, I've had this dream, nah I don't want you to think me a sap." With a gentle nudge Draco continued. "What I didn't tell you about that day when I realized I loved you; I saw you sitting under a tree with the sun setting and reflecting across you. My heart stopped for a second and it felt like I was transported to the future for a second and I saw us cooking dinner together laughing." With that Hermione hugged Draco. He pulled her into his lap and she put her head on his shoulder and sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: I got some good suggestions on making my story better, easier to read and understand who is talking. I am going to change my writing a little bit. My POV's are now going to be denoted with *name*. I hope that this makes reading my stories better. I am sorry that I have taken a while with this chapter. I had a bit of writers block, please forgive me. I am making this chapter longer to make up for that. Please read and enjoy, and review if you would like._

**Chapter 8**

*Hermione*

Hermione sat at her desk and looked at her ring. She couldn't get over the fact that she was so happily engaged. With her engagement to Ron, it was more about doing what was right than doing what was wanted by both. Of course Ron wanted to marry her, and that is something that made Hermione's heart ache, Hermione just couldn't keep up with the childhood crush she had on him. Thankfully since the night she and Draco got engaged Hermione has not had a nightmare or a flashback to the war.

Looking at the clock on the wall Hermione decided she had enough time to grab a cup of coffee and a smack before her next class came in. As she walked down the hall she felt as though she was being watched. Slowly Hermione stopped and turned around. Instantly she knew the face she saw. It was ghostly white and had two slits where the nose should be. He looked at her with curious amusement. Hermione couldn't breathe.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance mudblood. You will never be safe; I still have followers who will continue my goal of ridding the world of people like you" In the distance Hermione heard screaming and assumed that a muggle had seen the grotesque snake face.

"Miss Granger, wake up! Are you ok? Someone go and call for a medic. Give me my jacket to put under her head." Hermione slowly opened her eyes. She was on the floor with a dozen students standing around her. Quickly sitting up Hermione had a rush of lightheadedness. The students took a step back as the campus nurse came up and took charge of the situation. She felt Hermione's forehead and handed her a bottle of water. With the help of a couple of students Hermione got up off the ground. They proceeded to walk back to her classroom. The few early students looked up in concern.

"I'm fine Jessie; please just go back to your office. I guess I just got a little lightheaded and fainted." Hermione could see the concern and questions reflecting in everyone's faces. Hermione just busied herself with the folders and papers on her desk. She carefully avoided eye contact until Jessie left and the rest of her students took their seats.

"I am fine everyone so get those looks off of your faces. Ok, today we are going to discuss split personality disorder. I want to start by showing a little of the movie Sybil." She dimmed the lights and started the movie. Instead of watching a few minutes of the movie Hermione decided that she was in no way able to really teach today, so the class got lucky and got a movie day. Throughout the evening Hermione would hear his voice echoing in her head. Her heart which was light from being happily engaged and in love was now heavy with dread. Hermione knew that she would have to talk to Harry soon.

That evening as she fixed dinner Hermione could tell that Draco was concerned about her lack of chattering. She usually filled their time together with wedding ideas and the happenings in her classes. She tried to keep the talking going but this evening it all just tired her too much. That night she had a nightmare. It was the first one in a very long while. In it she was battling Voldemort waiting for Harry and Ron to show up when they showed up on his side. The three of them point their wands at her and Hermione can hear the killing curse coming her way; and as she floated up and out of her body she saw them laughing at her and muttering about staying pure.

"Hermione, sweetheart wake up, you are having a nightmare." Hermione sat up panting. She got up as soon as her legs would let her and made her way towards the bathroom. The feeling of nausea hit her suddenly and violently. She could hear Draco making his way to the bathroom door; thankfully he stood on the outside of the door.

"Is everything ok, are you sick? Do you want me to get you anything to help?" At that particular moment Hermione just wanted him to be quiet and leave her alone. She moaned a response of being ok and heard Draco go back to bed. They were back. The dreams that had ceased have started up again.

It had been a while since she'd had the nightmare; it was always the same one. She could still hear their laughter long after she'd woken up. She tossed and turned the rest of the night but every time she closed her eyes she saw their laughing faces, or her own dead face staring blankly back at her. It was the latter that flashed at her during the day, usually when she was least suspecting.

For the next week she didn't get much sleep, trying to stave off the nightmares as best as she could. Hermione could tell that Draco was getting more and more concerned but Hermione just couldn't tell him about this. At least she couldn't tell him about it just yet.

*Draco*

All Draco could think about was how much Hermione was concerning him. The night that she got sick he could tell that she wanted her space so he lay back down in bed waiting for her to join him. He heard her slip out of their bedroom and just assumed that she was getting something to drink to settle her stomach. A day or so later he had the thought that maybe Hermione was pregnant. It was known that neither one of them was using protection of any kind. His heart skipped a beat and he had a vision of their future children and it was all Draco could do not to grab Hermione and see immediately. When no mention of anymore nausea happened the dream flickered out.

It all just made him worry all the more because if she wasn't ill or pregnant then why did she throw up? He had tentatively brought up having Hermione see a doctor but she flat out refused it.

"I am NOT going to see a bloody doctor Draco, how many times do I need to say it. I am FINE so just drop it." He could tell that Hermione was anything but fine, she was drinking more often than she had when they first got together.

Draco sat on his bedroom balcony sipping some firewhisky thinking about the past few months. He and Hermione had broken up not long after their fight. He could tell that the breakup was coming a few days before it happened. Hermione started staying at her townhome. She had started pulling away from his touch. She started staying later and later at work, claiming finals were coming and her students needed her. Draco could see that she was growing distant and she had started recoiling from his touch.

The last conversation they'd had was the hardest one Draco has ever had. Her words still echo in his head and break his heart each time they reverberated.

"Draco I've had enough of you trying to control me. I don't want to talk about it means just that, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. What the hell good would it do? It wouldn't change anything. God you are becoming Ron, all needy and clingy. I'm done." She slapped the ring on the kitchen counter and turned to walk out.

"Hermione, if you don't deal with this then you are going to continue having issues, not just with me. I know that your parents are concerned about you, and if I am like Ron it's because I love you and want what's best for you."

"What's best for me," Hermione snorted in condescension, "what's best for me is to leave it alone. I am dealing with it on my own and don't need you or my parents or anyone else's help. We are through, maybe now you can understand that I don't need a nanny." Before Draco could even counter her statement Hermione was already out of the door and he heard a second later the slamming of the front door. Falling to his knees Draco wept. He'd been holding it in for a while and he couldn't hold it in anymore.

Coming out of his memories, Draco looks at the ring he'd lovingly placed on her finger. It even seemed to have dulled since being off her finger. Draco sighed and put his glass down and walked into his bedroom. He'd wanted to avoid this for as long as he could but he knew that he'd have to talk to him eventually. Letting his mail owl out of his cage, Draco attached the letter and headed towards an open window. Draco hoped that he wouldn't be rebuffed.

*Ron*

Ron had long since given up on Hermione; she hasn't made any attempts at contacting Ginny about the quickly approaching wedding. He didn't dare go to see her; Hermione had made it plainly clear that she would light him on fire the next time she saw him, and knowing her as well as he did, Ron knew well enough not to cross her when mad.

He heard the squawk of an owl coming in close to him. He looked up and saw the owl flying right at him. Instinctively Ron put his arm up to shield himself from the impact and was surprised when he felt the bird's claws gently land on his arm. Upon closer inspection Ron noticed the note in the bird's beak. It was a beautiful owl and Ron wondered as it flew off whose owl it was. Upon opening the letter there was no doubt.

_Ron,_

_I know that you don't want to hear from me but it's about Hermione. I am frightened for her and I have no one else to turn to. Please don't think that this is a joke. Hermione has pulled away from everyone and she is having nightmares and hallucinations. She won't talk to me and I know that she desperately needs help. Please don't turn me away because of our past. This is for Hermione and I know you still care for her. _

_Please,_

_Draco_

Not more than a couple of hours later they had spoken on the phone and Ron could hear the genuine concern in Malfoy's voice. He consented to meeting up the next day at the Leaky Cauldron. As Ron sat waiting for Malfoy he thought about his life since the incident at Hermione's apartment. He'd known when he left that things were truly over and in an attempt to get over Hermione Ron had started dating. He'd met someone from the school that Fleur went to. They seemed to be hitting it off and Ron could feel his heart healing.

"Ron, again thank you for coming and speaking with me." Ron was a little startled by his first name being used. Apparently the surprise showed across his face because Malfoy nodded and looked away. Malfoy began telling Ron what had happened with Hermione and his concerns as soon as their food arrived. Ron sat there knowing the pattern that was happening it had happened with him.

"Malfoy, thanks for letting me know what's going on, I will let Ginny know and maybe she can help Hermione." With a smile of relief Malfoy paid the bill and left. Ron sat at the table for a while afterwards. He knew something like this would happen. Nobody can go through something as traumatic as she has without needing help of some sort. Looking at his watch Ron figures he has enough time to go and see for himself how Hermione is doing.

Knowing that Hermione wouldn't want any sort of acknowledgement from him Ron waits outside to catch a glimpse of her. It was still a little surprising to think that he is now dating someone other than Hermione. Lost in thought Ron barely recognized the woman who responded to Hermione's name. Her hair that was once tamed is wild again. Her clothing is dirty, and not in an I spilled coffee kind of way. Ron's heart ached for the girl who has lost her way. It was with a start that the feeling of love and devotion, while still there, were muddled. He knew he would always love her but his need for her to return it was fading. Ron stood there for a while after Hermione had left trying to figure out how to help her. He knew that he alone would not be able to help him. It was time to call in reinforcements. As soon as he was back home Ron sent owls out to gather everyone for the intervention nobody wanted to give. By that evening all the owls were returned with confirmations and surprise. He knew that Hermione would hate him but hopefully she would also get the help needed.

*Draco*

Draco was glad that Ron didn't just completely disregard what he had said at lunch and was surprised to get the owl asking for his attendance. He'd replied so quickly that the owl hadn't even finished his snack before being given another note. Draco had tried to contact Hermione once prior to going to Ron, figuring she might have sold her house and needed some help. Apparently the sale never happened. Nobody was interested in it, or that was what Hermione had said. He didn't understand it but for the first time in a long time Draco was actually nervous. He desperately wanted Hermione happy and knew that if that meant they couldn't be together he would deal with it as best he could, just so long as she was happy.

They had all gathered at Ron's house. Every one of them knew that it was a life or death issue they were about to face. Looking around the room, Draco realized that at one point in time he'd regarded them all as his enemies, never to be helped by him no matter what. Ron stood by his fireplace while Harry paced, stopping occasionally to look lovingly at Ginny. Their wedding, from the word around town, was equivalent to a prince and princess getting married. With a sigh Draco stood up and turned towards the stilled room.

"Thank you for coming, I wanted to say first off that I-"before he could finish Ginny had gotten up and walked over to him. Putting her hand on his arm and effectively silencing him.

"I know, we all know, what you are about to say. Don't. The past is the past and grudges aren't being held. This is about Hermione and that is all. From what Ron has told Harry and me, she is really sliding down hill fast. I tried speaking with her about a week ago and she completely ignored me and when I finally showed up at her house she yelled at me to leave and then slammed the door in my face." Draco could see the hurt in her eyes. In a flash the look was gone and one of determination took over.

For the next few hours the group discussed different scenarios and different ways to confront and help Hermione.

*Hermione*

"Ok class today we are going to have a discussion about autism. Matthew will you please start the discussion?" Hermione knew her class could hear that she wasn't into teaching that day and sat and waited for the clock to run out. She just plain didn't bloody care anymore. What was the point in teaching kids when they would just as easily lie, cheat, or steal to get whatever they wanted? For the third time in as many weeks when the discussion was not lively enough Hermione dismissed the class an hour early. At lunch that day, eaten in the solitude of her office, Hermione noticed that the shirt she was wearing was the same shirt she'd worn the day before, and the noticeable ketchup stain from yesterday's lunch mocked her. Annoyed, and rather exhausted anyway, she taped a note to her door and cancelled the rest of her classes that day.

Sitting at home with the curtains drawn against the warm sunlight, Hermione felt safe, at least reasonably. Her nightmares had taken over her once restful sleeps and made them exercises in frustration. Walking towards her bedroom, having given up on eating anything and leaving her nearly full plate of food on the couch, Hermione stops and glances at herself in the mirror. She can see the haunted look in her eyes along with the dark shadows underneath them. Her hair has gone back to its unruly state. She just can't muster the energy needed to actually take care of herself; it has been far longer than she would like to admit since she showered. Lying down in bed, Hermione did not try to fall asleep. Asleep was where the nightmares were. Asleep was where she could not control the situation. Asleep was where she was vulnerable. Hermione prided herself on not needing anyone's help. Even though she tried to avoid it, inevitably sleep would find her and take her to the battle she never wins.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I took a few liberties with this chapter, character pairings that are different in the book. Please feel free to review my writing, I can't get any better without feedback. _

**Chapter 9**

*Draco*

Draco was standing in a shower that had long since gone cold. He was angry at himself. In a desperate need for companionship he'd called up a willing fling. She knew and willingly accepted what the call was for. The whole time though all he thought about was Hermione. Finally realizing that he was shivering and had goose bumps covering his body Draco shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his hips. His fling had gratefully left. He didn't want to have any interaction with her.

The intervention was about to come to fruition. Everyone had made the time and written their letters and agreed how to do it. Well, almost everyone had written their letters, Draco couldn't write down what he was feeling. It always came out as not enough. How can one accurately describe the feeling of a heartbreaking over seeing someone suffering. He'd never been big on expressing his emotions, always taught to bottle them up. His concern was above and beyond getting back together with Hermione. All Draco wanted was for her to be like she used to, the person who didn't take crap from anyone and was eager to express ideas and discuss interested topics. It kept breaking his heart that the girl he fell in love with at Hogwarts was practically gone, the only thing that stayed was the bushy hair.

He didn't like to admit it but Draco would occasionally go and check on her at her school. The past few times, a few days in between, she was nowhere to be seen. He was almost tempted to speak with a teacher but decided that would have been too much intrusion. Draco sat down at his desk and looked at the piece of paper sitting there with a pen poised and waiting for him to begin expressing his feelings. Dread filled his stomach and with a sigh of frustration and sadness Draco stood up and walked away from the desk.

"I'll have to wing it." He knew it wasn't a good idea but the thought of having to pour his heart made him have a serious case of writers block. With a final sigh Draco returned to the table and sat down. This time, unlike the many times prior, he lifted the pen and started writing. By the end of the letter Draco was in tears and knew that he'd said everything he could. He just hoped it would be enough.

*Ginny*

Ginny had just a couple of weeks before her wedding and instead of worrying and going over everything she was planning on confronting someone who had been like a sister to her. She looked again at the box that sat on her mantle, in the hope that Hermione would ask for it back. She was growing more and more worried about her as the time grew on. In the initial time after Hermione breaking off the engagement with Ron, Ginny had known that Hermione had done what was necessary, because they didn't truly love each other. Oh the way Ron stated it was that she'd ripped his heart out but Ginny knew better. Ron didn't like change and that was a huge one. In her initial time in between the battle and the continuation D.A. Ginny spent a lot of time getting to know Hermione. A girl who didn't have any magical family to know as much as she did was surprising. Ginny had been friends with some friends who were like Hermione, they had no magicalness in their family history. They always seemed to be more shocked and surprised at all the differences they find in the magical world.

Ginny had done the hard part of getting Hermione to meet with her; it took several attempts and the acknowledgement that she wouldn't back down for Hermione to agree. She still could not say the word intervention, she'd only heard it for people afflicted with abuses of some sort and Hermione isn't abusing anything. Well anything but herself really.

Seeing the time Ginny grabbed the box and apparated near Hermione's home. Walking towards the house Ginny had a second of fear. The newspapers were piled up in front of her door but with a hopeful sigh of relief Ginny saw that the post had been picked up. Quietly she knocked on the door and without an answer she knocked a little louder. There was still no noise or response from inside the house. Ginny contemplated knocking a third time or just apparating inside. She didn't want to intrude on Hermione's privacy but she felt compelled to make sure that she was ok. With a quick look around and seeing that she was alone Ginny apparated into the house, it took a minute to take in the disaster that is the living room. There was trash everywhere. There was no space that didn't have something on it, often with half or partially eaten food.

"Hermione are you here? I tried to knock but you didn't hear." Gingerly Ginny stepped towards the hallway and to Hermione's bedroom. With a gasp of shock Ginny ran to Hermione. She was as white as a ghost and had dark circles under her eyes. Hermione's bushy hair looked completely wild and unkempt, as did the rest of her. There was a smell of day old sweat hovering around her. Thankfully Ginny saw that Hermione was breathing, they were shallow and rapid though. Immediately Ginny called for someone from St. Mungo's to come to the house. Their intervention was going to have to wait.

As soon as the nurse apparated she checked on Hermione and immediately apparated back to the hospital. In her quickness to join, Ginny grabbed Hermione's purse. Once Hermione was settled into a room Ginny apparated to her parents house to tell Ron and Harry, who were waiting for her patronus to appear. To say that they were shocked was putting it mild, Ron was on his feet before Ginny could even get a word out.

*Ron*

He sagged against his chair. He knew that this was coming; he'd just hoped that they were going to be able to intervene before it did. Ron looked at Harry and Ginny; he was terrified and could see the same feelings playing over their faces. While he will always love Hermione his heart had healed since the end of their relationship.

"What did the doctor say Ginny?" She sighed exasperatedly, probably because it was the fourth time she'd told them this particular information. Ron just could not stop picturing Hermione in such a state.

"Ron, I will say this once more, he said that she had a nervous breakdown. He also said that it looked like Hermione hadn't slept in days, as she was hallucinating and shaking with exhaustion. He sedated her and told me that she needs at least a week of rest and quiet to even begin to start recovering. He said that at the state she was in Hermione could have done some mental damage to herself."

Of course Ron knew that Hermione could internalize everything. She had that problem, she never could ask for help, nor acknowledge it when it was given. Not knowing what else to do Ron grabbed his cloak and headed towards the fireplace. Cutting off any chance Harry or Ginny had to ask questions, Ron just said two words.

"Malfoy Manor." The flames licked at his skin and he had always hated that part of flooing, as his family called it. With a quiet whoosh he was standing in the fireplace in the entryway at Draco's house. Before he could even move Draco had apparated in front of him with his wand pointed directly at his face. Ron could see that Draco's face go from angry to confused to fearful in a matter of seconds. If it were any other time he might have found it funny. The fact that Ron, of all people could read another's facial expressions would have shocked his family. Two more words and the wand was quickly stowed away in a back pocket.

"It's Hermione." Draco led them to the living room while peppering Ron with questions. Ron didn't speak until he was seated and both had a glass of firewhisky in their hand. Draco had tried to sit but was too jittery for that and began pacing the room. Ron repeated what Ginny had said and Draco, much like Ron had done, asked to have the information repeated multiple times.

Half an hour later Ron had left with the understanding that as soon as anyone had any new information it would be passed around.

*Draco*

As soon as Ron had left, in a fit of uncontrolled anger and fear, Draco punched the wall leaving a satisfying fist sized hole in the wall. He knew he should let her rest and see her the next day but Draco was so overcome with fear and sadness that he had to see her, even if it was to watch her sleep. He decided to go to Hermione's house and grab a few necessities that she would probably want. With a quiet pop Draco had apparated into Hermione's house. Words failed him at the once immaculately clean house. It looked like the aftermath of a storm. Setting his wand on the fireplace Draco started to clean. He knew that he could have done things quicker, and probably better, with his wand but Draco had the urge to do this with his hands. He needed to feel like he had physically done something to help.

After gathering all the dirty dishes and cleaning those Draco took the trash out. As he did one last pass through the kitchen he saw a picture folded in half on the refrigerator. It was the one that her mother had taken when they'd announced their engagement. The picture didn't move, and it quite startled Draco, he wasn't used to that.

Looking around the house, Draco realized that he would need a lot more time and energy to thoroughly clean the mess up. So setting out to complete the original task Draco grabbed some of Hermione's clothes and her favorite books and apparated once again to St. Mungo's. As Draco walked to the nurse's station to find out Hermione's room number he heard an unfamiliar voice call out to him.

"Malfoy. What are you doing here?" Draco looked and saw a skinny dark haired kid with a blonde by his side. It was obvious that the blonde had just had a baby. His instincts kicked in and he instantly became gruff and curt with them.

"Granger, Hermione." The nurse gave the room number and Draco began to walk away. It hit him that he knew the blonde; she was a friend of Harry's, Luma or something like that. With a small nod he acknowledged her. As if she realized in that nod what was going through his head she introduced herself.

"Hello Draco, its Luna Longbottom, and this is my husband Neville." Appreciatively Draco smiled at them and as the three of them turned to walk the same way, Draco was glad that they weren't treating him as poorly as they probably should. As he had assumed, they had just had their first child. Luna kept up a steady stream of conversation, either as a distraction or as habit he could not tell.

"Well Draco it was wonderful to see you but I am tired and want to sleep, goodbye." Draco shook her and Neville's hands and smiled. Neville seemed to be assessing him the whole time.

When he stepped into the room Draco's heart broke. Hermione had lost a lot of weight. Her hair was wild and unclean. Her skin was a pale, almost ghostly white. She was sleeping and looked like a child lying in the bed. Draco took a seat in what had to be the most uncomfortable chair he'd ever felt. After a few minutes Draco was pursuing one of the books he'd brought, _Hogwarts: A History_, when he heard a whimpering. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was coming from Hermione's bed. She was twitching and quietly moaning. Draco ran to grab a doctor in a panic. The doctor came in and said a spell and she quieted instantly. Draco was pissed when the doctor just looked at him and walked out of the room.

"What the hell was that? What did you do to her?" The doctor turned and looked directly into his eyes.

"She is having nightmares and I put her into a non dreaming sleep. Sleep is what she needs now and if she can't get decent sleep then her recovery will be slowed significantly." Without another word the doctor left Draco standing in the middle of the hallway. He turned on his heel and walked back to the chair and sat down. He still held the book and with a frustrated sigh he tossed it onto the nearby table. Exhaustion was setting in and before he knew it Draco was asleep.

Awaking the next morning to just before dawn, Draco went in search of some much needed coffee and something to eat. He had already decided that he would stay long enough to speak to Hermione then let her get the help she needs. Finally finding the guest room Draco made his way over to the ancient coffeepot and poured what looked like mud into a mug.

"You would think with all the wands around someone could make a decent cup of coffee." Draco's shoulders tensed slightly. He didn't like having to talk to people he didn't know. He didn't know how they would react if they recognized him, and often they do because his name was almost always spoken whenever Dumbledore was remembered. Keeping his head looking at his mug, Draco let his periphery vision go to work. The person was short and stout with a genuine smile on her face. Draco turned his head slightly to acknowledge the woman. Deciding against attempting to try the mud he put the mug down and walked away.

Walking back to Hermione's room Draco passed a couple arm in arm walking towards him. The woman was heavily pregnant and had a slight sheen of sweat on her face. The man glowed with pride and was beaming at something the woman just said. With a flash Draco saw himself and Hermione doing the same thing a few years down the road. It was gone before he could even really process the thought. Upon entering the room Draco saw that Hermione was not in her bed. A nurse was in the room administering medicine to another patient, and as patiently as he could Draco stood near to ask about Hermione. Just as he was opening his mouth though a sight caught him, it was Hermione. She looked a lot better, not at deaths door like she had the night before. She was in street clothes and was trying to run a brush through her hair. It was wet and hanging in loose curls. With a start Hermione paled and looked at Draco, hairbrush halfway through her hair.

"Draco, wh-what are you doing here?"

"I heard you were brought here and I wanted to make sure you were ok. I won't stay." He hadn't meant it to come out sounding uncaring but by the flash in her eyes Draco knew that is how Hermione heard it. Fiddling with her brush and not looking at Draco, Hermione kept opening and closing her mouth trying to get something out.

"I, um, I spoke with the doctor and…..they said, um if I, uh, wanted to have someone stay I could." Sheepishly she looked at Draco. He almost started laughing, when has Hermione ever been tongue tied, especially around him. Without a word Draco pulled her up and into his arms. Her body relaxed palpably. It took Draco a second to realize that she was crying.

"Hermione sweetheart what is wrong?" He could feel her shudder against him trying to stop the tears and be able to speak. He sat her back down on the bed and rubbed her back. The quiet sobs eventually calmed down to several hiccups. With a deep breath Hermione looked directly into his eyes.

"I didn't know how to ask for help. With Harry and Ron I was always the one who had all the answers. I was always the one who had it all together. How do I tell people that I'm scared, that I'm petrified? I can't sleep; I can't eat. I can't do anything. I lost my job because I stopped showing up." With a sigh Draco knew that Hermione was not going to speak anymore. When her fiddling with the brush got to be too much Draco gently took it from her. He lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to his.

"Everyone has had issues. I, I had one night stands and drank all day every day. I have nightmares too, of the night in the Astronomy tower. I can still see his face in quiet resign. He knew it was going to happen and he didn't put up a fight. I beat myself up over that, Hermione, I do. I can't help but feel that there was something I could have done. I went to my parents with my concerns and they told me to grow up and that it was my duty to do this. I didn't want to." The memories overwhelmed him and Draco's throat had a lump that he couldn't speak around. The tears were bright in his eyes and he was trying desperately not to lose it. He didn't want to make this about him. It was Hermione who needed help the most; he could get help for himself later. Neither one of them spoke for a long time.

A few days later Draco ventured out of St. Mungo's and went home for some clean clothes. He also was going to let everyone else know about what was going on. With his thoughts on Hermione and a hot shower Draco almost walked past the dark figure standing in his foyer. A cold chill when down his spine and slowly he turned to the dark figure.

"Father what are you doing here? How did you get out of Azkaban?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: I want to thank you all for reviewing. I am sorry that I have been random in my writings. I have had some family issues come up and have started going back to school so I have been very lacking in keeping up with my story writing. _

**Chapter 10**

*Draco*

"Where are the elves Draco? I need someone to take my bags to my room." Of course that had been the first question Lucius would ask to him. He'd been imprisoned for about a decade and it's all about him.

"I gave them their freedom Lucius." The utterance of his first name made Lucius snap his attention onto his son. With a sneer and an exaggerated flair Lucius took off his cloak and let it drop to the floor. It hit Draco that his father had never been without house elves to clean up after him.

"Why in the bloody hell would you do that?" Draco knew the tone his father had taken meant that he would be getting hit if he didn't say the right thing. When he was a boy, and even a young man, he would try to figure out the right thing to say. Now, though, he didn't care to appease his father.

"Because it was just me and I didn't want them anymore, I can take care of myself. The real question though Lucius is why are you out of Azkaban." He knew the slap was coming long before the sting was upon his cheek.

"Your mother killed herself, the dementors caused her to do it, and they let me out to arrange her burial." All that came to Draco's mind was that his mother didn't do it because of the dementors; it was because Lucius convinced her to do it. That was the one fatal flaw that Narcissus had was to be so blind when it came to Lucius. As much as he loved his mother, Draco felt no more than a passing sadness that left him quickly. Thankfully any warmth and tenderness that Draco had towards his parents had died out when he'd been young.

With exaggerated moves Lucius picked up his cloak and draped it over his arm and walked towards his bedroom. With a slight pop Lucius apparated and Draco let the breath he had been unknowingly holding out of his chest. Deciding against going to his room, Draco called for his things and once they were there he sent them to Hermione's home. He was not going to stay with a person that only shares his blood.

Not knowing what else to do, and not wanting Hermione to see him upset, Draco went to the only place he could think of. He just hoped that they would be there. Draco was unsure of how he should approach them. Of course they all seemed decent, almost nice, towards him but Draco couldn't help but feel like he was being set up to take the fall somehow. He decided that he would send his patronus in ahead of himself and give them a warning and time to gather together. By the time he walked up to the house he could hear the telltale pop of someone apparating. As he walked to the door he saw a plump friendly woman opening the door calling to Ron about not eating all the food. Thankfully she opened the door and then quietly slipped outside to give the four of them some much needed privacy.

"I was starting to wonder if we were ever going to hear from you Draco." Ginny said with what Draco hoped was mild amusement mixed with worry. The smile proved to him that his intuition was, yet again, right. He went on to explain to the silent room about what the doctor had said and what Hermione was doing. The tension in the room lessened a great deal once Draco had finished speaking. He assumed everyone was waiting for bad news. It was then that he started seeing guilty glances between the three of them with the occasional look at him to see if he'd picked up on what they were silently saying to one another.

"Alright, spill it. I don't want any secrets where Hermione is concerned." Draco saw that Harry was about to speak when Ron's voice silenced the room yet again.

"I, I mean, we were worried because we hadn't heard from you for a few days and we, I, went to St. Mungo's this afternoon and spoke with the doctor. I didn't mean to tread on you but-. "Draco sighed and relaxed.

"Nothing to worry about, I completely understand, hell I would have done the same thing if I were in the same position." The room took on a more relaxed, albeit still stressed, vibe and Draco was relieved. At least he was until a scream echoed in from outside. Everybody jumped up and ran to the half door and looked out. Standing in the middle of the yard was Molly had her wand pointed at an intruder. With one glance Draco knew who it was. The greater question was why was he here and how did he find him.

"Molly, I have been released from Azkaban; they deemed me worthy of leaving now kindly lay your wand down. I mean you no harm. I just came for Draco; he needs to help me get things together." Lucius searched the house with a barely suppressed sneer. He saw Draco standing in the doorway and motioned for him to come out of the house.

"Lucius if I were you I would leave now, while Molly is in a relatively nice mood. I don't want anything to do with you." With that Draco sat down at the table. He could feel all the eyes in the house on him. He looked at his nails, as if he banished his father every day.

"Draco Malfoy, I am your father, your master. You WILL do as I say and COME OUT HERE NOW."

"Lucius, you are on my property and if you don't leave I will make sure to get a few dementors out here to make sure you are telling the truth. Leave now and don't ever come back onto my property." With a purposeful movement Lucius put his wand in his cloak and spun on the spot making a slight popping sound and was gone. Molly came into the house a few moments later, obviously trying to calm herself down. Upon seeing Draco sitting at the table she hugged him. It startled him for a moment and it made him feel both uneasy and yet normal and natural. He hugged her back, albeit a little stiffly. When she pulled away she looked in his eyes and with that one look she conveyed his acceptance at their house anytime.

After Molly left the room, claiming the need to work on her knitting project, everyone found a spot to sit in silence. Harry sat in an armchair with Ginny joining him by sitting on his lap. Ron took a seat across from Draco. No one spoke for what seemed like a long time, but in reality was probably only a few minutes. He could tell that they wanted to question him but no one wanted to be the first one to speak.

"Ok, I can feel you all dying to ask me something spit it out." It came out harsher than Draco had wanted. It was Ginny who spoke first.

"Are you ok?" Draco waited for more but she just left it at that. She looked at him with such compassion and caring that it startled him. He'd never really had anyone look at him that way. His mother usually looked at Draco as more of a requirement than anything else. His father treated Draco as a prince in line to replace him as king. With a shock of realization he felt a lump in his throat and try as hard as he might he couldn't swallow it. Usually he was able to hide his feelings without even thinking about it. Giving up on being able to speak he just nodded and it took him a second to realize that he was actually shaking his head. Ginny got up out of Harry's lap and sat in the chair next to him and took his hand. She started rubbing the back, the way a mother would to a sick child's back, and instantly the tears fell.

It took Draco a minute to see that it was only Ginny and himself in the kitchen. Whether it was genuine giving them privacy or just being uncomfortable, Draco was grateful. It was humiliating for him to break down crying in a room full of his not too distant enemies. Ginny didn't speak, but she had stopped rubbing his hand, and had instead gotten up and started making a pot of tea. He could tell that she was uncomfortable because she was making the tea the manual, non-magical, way.

"You know, I am the only girl in my family. I used to wish every chance I got that I would be able to have a little sister to play with. I remember once asking my parents about it. My mum just looked at me. I think she never realized how starved for girly interactions I was. She sat in stunned silence and started to cry. I thought I had said something wrong but she just grabbed me and hugged me. With George and Fred always getting into things it was only natural for her attention to be on them mostly. She told me that she was so sorry that she hadn't realized I was hurting and that she was going to make a special time each week just for us. I relish those days, we still have them, though not as often. I saw how your father looked at you and I know that if anybody ever were to look at me like that my heart would break. I can't even begin to imagine it belonging to your parent." With that Ginny set the tea in front of Draco and quietly sipped at hers.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Ginny looking out the window staring at something, and Draco was drinking in the warmth from both the tea and the house; a house filled with genuine love and caring. Before Draco could speak his mind there was a slight cough and the appearance of two heads peaking around the corner of the stairwell. They hesitantly looked between Ginny and Draco, as if waiting for their parent to dole out their punishment for doing something bad. Ginny didn't speak, she just got up and poured two more cups of tea and everyone quietly sat around the table caught up in their own thoughts. With a startled realization Draco noticed the time and practically toppled his chair jumping up.

"I promised Hermione I would be back by now, I best be going, thanks for the tea and everything else." He tried to make the last part sound like his old snarky self; he doesn't want people to see him as weak or weakened in the years since the war. With a slight nod towards Ginny and a quick look at Ron and Harry Draco walked outside to apparate. As he was raising his wand a cautious voice made him stop.

"I want you to know that you have a family here Draco." Molly turned to go into the house when before he even realized what he was doing Draco was hugging Molly.

"Thank you Mrs. Weasly, just thank you." With that Draco apparated and took a second to contain himself before seeing Hermione. He wanted to be strong for her and it had been so long since he's been able to show a side of himself that was just a jackass.

Seeing Hermione's smiling face made him forget about his father and mother. She looked completely like she used to. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the edge of the bed and told her that he'd visited with Ginny, Ron and Harry. Hermione smiled and let Draco know that her doctor wanted to see him; as if saying his name made him materialize the doctor came walking through the door a few seconds later.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger and I have spoken and decided that it would do her well to leave St. Mungo's and return home. Now she is going to need to take it easy and slowly return to her prior routines. I still want to see her at least once a week for a checkup." Draco looked from the doctor to Hermione and back again not believing what he just heard. A slow smile spread across his face and Hermione grabbed his hand and squeezed it in nervous excitement. The doctor soon left leaving some final instructions that quite frankly Draco didn't hear. He could see his lips moving and Hermione's in response but it was as if he was under water, nothing was quite making sense and it took too long for him to figure out what was being said.

As Hermione slept soundly Draco sat wide awake worrying about what is going to happen now. He'd kind of hoped having a bit of a buffer between Hermione, himself and Lucius; and let's face it being in St. Mungo's is about as good a buffer as changing one's physical appearance. When exhaustion kicked in the sun had started creeping over the bottom of the windows. Draco fell into a dreamless sleep and awoke a few hours later with a blanket on him and Hermione sitting next to him reading a book on how to crochet. Draco knew he needed to tell Hermione about his father but for the life of him he just couldn't put it into words quite yet. As if she was reading his mind Hermione looked at him and took his hand.

"You look far away, are you ok? You had the same look yesterday with the doctor." Draco did not have time to say anything. As he opened his mouth Hermione gasped and jumped off the bed. In the doorway to her room stood three instantly recognizable figures; Ginny, Ron and Harry. They walked over to Hermione and crowded her bed in amongst the hugs. In the chaos of them entering Draco slipped out needing a breath of fresh air. Thinking he was successful in leaving unnoticed, Draco decided he needed to get the answer from the source about his mom.

Walking into Azkaban was scary and depressing. He could see the once sane Deatheaters talking to themselves and rocking in their cells. As soon as he'd seen this Draco wanted to run back to Hermione and try to forget it. He was on a mission though and would not leave until he'd gotten his answers. Upon stepping into the warden's office Draco was struck with how depressing and yet hopeful it was. He had pictures of his children and wife everywhere. Draco kept Hermione close to his heart as he felt the dementor's gliding silently closer to him. They stayed near him, as if waiting for an imperceptible acknowledgement to start torturing their new prisoner. The director just sent a patronus towards them and they backed off. He looked up the information Draco gave him and confirmed what Draco knew.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Malfoy I can not divulge any more information than you already know. I would suggest that you speak with your father about it if you have any questions."

"I just wanted to check his story. Was there any type of security camera or anyone or thing watching that could fill in the time that they were here?" With a shake of his head the director lead Draco out of his office. He wasn't sure but he felt that something was going on and it was not good. More than ever Draco knew he would have to let go of his familial ties completely. With no one wanting to tell him anything it was the best possible avenue, one that would save his sanity in the process.

Draco silently apparated in his bedroom and began to quickly gather his possessions. He would never be returning to his boyhood home, and that suited him just fine. Walking over to his desk he opened the drawer and grabbed for the ring box but his hand only met the bottom of the drawer. Draco's heart stopped and he looked in the drawer, even taking it out of the desk to make sure it wasn't just in a hidden corner. With a slow dawning of realization Draco knew his father had been in his room. A growl came out as he blew his door off its hinges.

"LUCIUS! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY RING?" Breathing hard Draco almost missed his father's footsteps behind him.

"So who is the lucky little lady that will be gracing us with heirs to our –"Draco spun and with his father's collar in one hand and his wand in the other, pushed him to the cold stone wall with an audible thump. He was so angry that he couldn't even form the words to speak. Lucius was smart enough to not speak. With an exaggerated slowness Draco let go of Lucius' collar and pulled his sleeve up to expose the dark mark. With a spell he'd been using Draco muttered the words. He knew Lucius was watching curiously trying to figure out what his heir was doing. With the pain of a thousand needles piercing his skin, Draco's mark grew darker for a brief second then disappeared completely.

"I am no longer part of this family. You now have no heir and will die alone without anyone to pass on your bigotry."

"You are my son and no matter how far you roam that will always be the case, I know that you need to slum it a little while to sow your wild oats, lord knows I did." Lucius smirked and turned and walked away. Frozen in shock and anger Draco watched him walk away. He was about to start packing again when he realized that no matter what he would take it would be tainted with his former life. Draco muttered _flame incidium_ and watched the fire start to consume his bed and all his once prized possessions. At the sign of the smoke sliding towards him Draco apparated to St. Mungo's. Harry, Ginny and Ron had all left by the time he'd returned. With a crochet hook in one hand and a very thick piece of yarn in the other Hermione looked up with frustration.

"You would think that since I could do incredibly complex spells that learning to crochet would be something I could do in my sleep." Hermione sighed in annoyance and bent back over the book. Draco just laughed and took a seat at the end of the bed. With the weight of him sitting, Hermione looked up and noticed the seriousness in his face. Quickly putting aside her things Hermione turned her focus onto him. Instead of speaking Draco just rolled his sleeve up and showed his once marked skin returned to the unblemished skin of his youth. Hermione gasped and tentatively ran her finger over the skin. Her touch made his hair stand up and prickle. Her touch was always able to do that. With a look she took his arm and began to kiss his arm.

"Part of my being here was having to deal with the decisions I've made and how they've affected those around me. I just want you to know that my breaking up with you was the worst decision I have ever made. You make me feel alive Draco and I am so sorry that I pushed you away. I understand that we may never get to the place we were before and I accept that but I just want you to know how sorry I am." Draco desperately wanted to kiss her lips but instead kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

"Hermione all I've ever wanted was you back." The tears started slipping down her face; Draco gently wiped them away and looked into the eyes of the girl he'd once known. Hermione yawned and Draco laid her down and curled up behind her. He could feel her slip into sleep and with the feeling of utter contentment Draco went there as well. Draco slept better than he could ever remember sleeping. He awoke in the loving arms of Hermione who was quietly reading.


	11. AU NOTE Please Read

**AU NOTE: I am trying to restart writing this story, major fixes coming to ease readability. I am having difficult in changing my password, as it's been a couple of years since I've written on this account, so I am moving the story to my other more active account. Please follow my username: byaboo. I am really really really sorry that I have not written on this story for such a long time. School and life in general got in my way. I do want to continue writing this story and would love to keep all of you wonderful people reading it. **

**~Byaboo aka GAgal05.**


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